All Hail Timmies, God of all things Cafinated!!!

There are 2 things wrong with Vancouver

1. not enough snow

2. not enough Tim Hortons

I come from a small university in Ontario, Trent University to be precise for those of you who don't know. The last year I was there 4967 Undergrads where enrolled and we had 1 Tim Hortons on campus in addition to one just off campus. Frank, a good friend of mine went to Saint Mary's in Halifax which according to their web page has around 1000 students and according to Frank 3 Tim Hortons. So could somebody tell my why the hell when i come to UBC with an enrollment of 28,000 undergraduates and 6,400 graduate students there is not ! fucking Timmies on campus. WTF? I cant trip without accidentally falling face first into a stemming pile of Starbucks.

Well that has all changed as of this new term. We are now officially a Canadian university as we have our very own Tim Hortons. It is a small food court beside a resterant on campus. It only sells coffee and donuts and it is fabulous. All ready the line are our the door and that is with a fancy coffee shop next door sitting empty. My mournings are finally happy and I am beginning to feel at home. I am hoping once they start shutting down all the surrounding businesses dew to over crowding that they will smarten up and build a full store where i can get my Ham and Cheese sandwich combo I love so very much but until that happens this will do nicely.

Just a little slice of utopia in my day?

The computer therapist

I just discovered an AI program called Elisa. It is supposed to mimic a theripist, they type that just asks questions and mimics your responses. The real annoying ones. Here was my first conversation.

* Tim Hortons just opened on campus
> Don't you ever say Hello?
* no
> You are being a bit negative.
* Damn it we are talking about timmies here not my negitivity
> Say, do you have any psychological problems?
* I hate Starbucks
> That is quite interesting.
* I want to burn it to the ground
> What would it mean to you if you got to burn it to the ground?
* I would be happy
> What does that suggest to you?
* I don't know you tell me
> Do you wish to be able to know me tell you?
* WTF?
> OK... "I don't know me tell me". Tell me more.
* It's an evil US corperation that doesn't deserve to be on canadian soil
> I'm not sure I understand you fully.
* Your a starbuck sympathiser arn't you?
> You're not really talking about me, are you?
* I am
> Do you believe it is normal to be ?
* be what
> What answer would please you the most?
* Your head on a spike
> What about your own head on a spike?
* Oh so that's the way it's going to be is it, well ill see you tonight and we will settle this once and for all.
> You're not really talking about me, are you?
* you laid the challenge to late to back out now.
> Oh... laid the challenge to late to back out now?
* Im not listing to you any more!
> You're not really talking about me, are you?

After this conversation i decided to make Elisa talk to herself:

> Hello, I am Eliza.
* Hello, I am Eliza.
> Did you come to me because you are Eliza?
* Oh... believe it is normal to be Eliza?
> Say, do you have any psychological problems?
* You're not really talking about me, are you?
> Perhaps you would like to be not really talking about you, am I?
* Oh... would like to be not really talking about me, are you?
> Would you prefer if I were not ?
* We were discussing you, not me.
> Oh... not you?

This was not nearly as entertaining.
Next Week the inverivew between Elisa and Ask Jeeves

> Hello, I am Eliza.
* Joseph Weizenbaum
> Don't you ever say Hello?
* MyDearDiary.com - say_hello - Nothing that makes sense ever works
> Say, do you have any psychological problems?
* Do You Have ESP?
> Oh... Have ESP?
...........